Hearthville Serial: Book 8 Chapter 8 – Scene 1
Title: The Virgin Mary Prepares to Kick Ass
Excerpt:
So there she was. She knows she has to be tough and the people who worship her have to be tough. This prison is not for pussies, unless you enjoy being Satan’s bitch. But still, when she heard what had been done to Whitehead and Baretown she cried and her tears were blood and the blood could be seen in churches that had statues to the Virgin Mary. The statues themselves cried blood. And all across planet earth, both in Hades and the regular earth, news spread of the statues crying blood.
Any Truth, Proper Grammar, or Correct Spelling is totally coincidental if not accidental. All characters are fiction. This story is fiction. This story makes no claims about any real person.
By Charles Peters Copyright 2022, 2023 All Rights Reserved
Chapter / Episode List of the Heathville Serial
Some people believe that the Gods don’t really care. But it is not about caring. It is about surviving free from the cage in this damn prison we have become trapped in and aspiring to get the hell out of this prison. The Gods know that our only hope is if we can become as strong as them and strength does not come from surrendering to weakness.
We will never become strong if we insist that the Gods do our pushups for us. We have got to do our own god damned pushups. We’ve got to run our own son of a bitching races. We have to crawl through our own sewage to get to the nectar.
But it is one thing to be trapped in this prison we call earth and it is another to become caged on the earth. If we spend eternity upon eternity caged then we can never escape this prison.
So when something is such that it is either a real cage or acts as a cage that stops us from being able to do pushups, that is advance, then the Gods will cry for us. They will lift that fat bitch off our backs so we can do at least one pushup and then two and then three, and by God they rejoice with us when they feel us getting stronger. They need us strong for it will take all of us together to free ourselves from this prison.
Make no mistake the Virgin Mary is a God. And she is not some weak little prissy thing crying, “Oh my, why will my hymen not break.” She rejoices that there is no cock that can break her hymen. Not even the big cock, the Godly cock, of Zeus could break that hymen. And even though the birth of Jesus broke that hymen, it quickly grew back. Make no mistake, the Virgin Mary is an awesome God. She is not some fucked up Hebrew concoction. She is real and magnificent. And what is more, she can beat your ass before you have a chance to order your next beer at the bar and you will not even know what hit you.
So there she was. She knows she has to be tough and the people who worship her have to be tough. This prison is not for pussies, unless you enjoy being Satan’s bitch. But still, when she heard what had been done to Whitehead and Baretown she cried and her tears were blood and the blood could be seen in churches that had statues to the Virgin Mary. The statues themselves cried blood. And all across planet earth, both in Hades and the regular earth, news spread of the statues crying blood.
And some, with their upside down stupid and foolish hearts, screamed, “This is the work of Satan.” “Idol worship,” they screamed. “Satan,” they screamed.” But no. The Virgin Mary was crying for what was being done to earth. She was crying for the believer and disbeliever alike. She was crying because god damn, she did care.
Like I said, the Virgin Mary was never some pussy. She was tough. She was mighty. And this day she cloaked herself in armor. She took a sword that only a God could wield with such strength, and vigor and magic as she.
Hera came to join her and together they climbed into a spaceship. By God, they were going to Whitehead and Baretown to rescue the souls that had been caged there. She swore, “Satan will regret even the thought that he might allow Belial to do to earth what he did to Pluto Viso.”
Hera screamed in laughter, “We are going to kick some ass, ‘baaabeeee.'”
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