Hearthville Serial: Book 7
Episode 12
Any Truth, Proper Grammar, or Correct Spelling is totally coincidental if not accidental.
All characters are fiction. This story is fiction. This story makes no claims about any real person.
By Charles Peters
Copyright 2021
All Rights Reserved
Chapters / Episodes
Victor and Stewart began to unload the tables from the white van to set up along the walkway up to the church. Every once in a while they looked over a Preacher Pat Pialo on the porch at his house. He was still eating cereal.
Stewart said, “I like this van. Can I have it? I might could use it to start doing gig deliveries.”
“No, you can not have my van and why on earth would you want to start making gig deliveries. I want to set you up in a Sporting Goods Store.”
“Oh my God. I do not want to sit in a store all fucking day long.”
“But you want to sit in a van for around minimum wage, driving packages to their destination?”
“Well, yeah.”
Victor shook his head. “What if I make you my errand boy?”
“Errand boy. That sounds rather demeaning. Now I might take a job of being Vice President of Errands. But I would still get to drive around. Right?”
“Sure.”
“Are you being serious?”
“Yes. So will you take the job?”
“What kind of money are we talking?”
“I will pay you $200,000 a year.”
“Okay.”
“Changing the subject back to what we are actually doing, we need to put up signs that tells people what is written on the mask and tell them they must take the first mask they handle. The signs are right up behind the front seat in the van. You start putting the signs up while I go inside the church to pee. I am about to piss all over myself.”
“Yeah, we don’t want you to have to turn your pants around so you are wearing them backwards to hide the wet place.”
“Was that real? Did Trump really do that?”
“I don’t know. None of the pictures actually showed where he had pissed his pants. At least none that I saw. I think it was just twitter being twitter. Stupid.”
“Yeah. He probably just put his pants on backwards after having sex in a room with no lights burning. I’ve got to run. Seriously run.”
Victor took off running.
Stewart laughed at his brother. Stewart’s sister Judy walked up with her boyfriend Steed.
Judy asked, “Why is our bro in such a run?”
“He has to pee really bad.”
“Oh.”
Steed asked, “How do you pee really badly. Miss the toilet?”
Stewart laughed. “I see why you were friends with Victor. Same sense of humor.”
Judy nodded as she looked around. “So what you and Victor doing with these tables and putting mask out. I thought Preacher Pialo was going to do a maskless service.”
“Victor convinced him to use these masks instead until less pressure would be on Mayor Bare to arrest him for a maskless service.”
Judy asked, “Preacher Pat agreed?”
“Yeah. Thank God. I did not want to see him arrested.”
Steed asked, “Have you ever been arrested?”
“No. Just the thought of being in jail terrifies me.”
Judy said, “Dad said Victor committed a felony this morning without even thinking about it. He just casually did it.”
Stewart asked, “What?”
“He put ransomware on some media company computers so that they would get and release the Fauci emails that shows Fauci knows the dime store masks are worthless.”
“I see.” Stewart asked Steed, “Have you ever committed any crimes?”
“My father is a gangster. What do you think?”
Judy looked at Steed. She was not sure what to think.
***
Victor ran into the church and into the men’s bathroom that was off the foyer as he entered the church. He ran to the urinal and unzipped his pants and pulled out his monster. He began to pee. As he was peeing he heard some noise in the church.
“Come on you damn dick, let it flow and let me finish before I am retirement age.”
Victor finished. He put his monster away. He zipped himself. He washed his hands. He left the bathroom and walked beyond the foyer to inside of the church. He saw two men wearing Hazmat Suits and spraying something on the pews.
Victor called out to them. “What are you two doing?”
“We are disinfecting the church before services begin.”
“Who hired you to do this?”
“Mayor Hollis Bare.”
Victor pulled out his cellphone. He called Mayor Hollis. “Did you or anyone in your office hire anyone to spray disinfectant in the church?”
“Why?”
“I just found two men spraying the church. They are wearing Hazmat Suits. Why would you spray a church on a Sunday right before services with a chemical that requires a Hazmat Suit.”
“Let me call Daniel and make sure that he did not hire someone in my name because sometimes that boy just does not think right.”
Suddenly the men threw their spraying devices down and they start running toward a back entrance to the church.”
“God damn. They are on the run. Get a real Hazmat team here to see what the fuck they have been spraying. I am going to be in chase.” Victor shoved his phone into his pocket. He turned to run out the front of the church. He screamed to Stewart as he ran toward him and the van. “The church has been poisoned with a bio terror weapon. Don’t go inside. Don’t let anyone else inside. I was talking to the Mayor when they took off running. But call him to coordinate blocking the church off.”
Stewart watched Victor jumping into his van. Steed ran to the other door and jumped into the van with Victor. Judy called a friend a local radio station.
Judy said, “Morris. There has been a bio terror attack at Preacher Pat’s church. Start warning people to stay out of the area.”
“Are you serious?”
“Mayor Hollis is on the phone with Stewart right now. Victor and Steed are in pursuit of the men who were caught spraying the church with something.”
“Steed. Wait. Are you back with him?”
“Morris. Concentrate. Bio terror attack. Church. Warn people.”
“Right. Right. Right.”
Judy hung the phone up. Stewart said, “Daniel has been notified to start blocking the roads off.”
Stewart looked over to where Preacher Pat had been eating his cereal. He was no longer sitting on the porch. “Oh my God. Where did Preacher Pat go? Please don’t be in the church.”
Judy said, “You do realize our brother was just in the church.”
“I know but I can not undo that. I need to find Preacher Pat.”
“Call him.”
“Sure. I will call him. I will call him.”