Excerpt:
Tiffany asks, “So … I am sorry, what is your name.”
“Leslie McApple.”
“So do you know Arthur Ramsey well?”
“Heavens no. I belong to an animal right’s group that wants to either reform or shut down an experimental lab owned by ‘Loving Care.’ Selby James who chairs our group worked out a deal with Arthur Ramsey to put me on the board if our group, ‘Beast of Burden’ would agree to stop staging protest. I’ve never met Arthur Ramsey.”
Wade asks, “So why did Selby James want you on the board and not try to put himself on the board?”
Leslie says, “I already work for ‘Loving Care.’ I am over the custodial department of the Hearthville Hospital.”
Bryan says, “I did not know that. So my wife wants you to give her a contract. That is what the sex was about.”
“No. She never asked me for special treatment. And I would never give her special treatment. As a matter of fact I may recuse myself of making the final decision on that contract.”
Book 6
Any Truth, Proper Grammar, or Correct Spelling is totally coincidental if not accidental.
All characters are fiction. This story is fiction. This story makes no claims about any real person.
By Charles Peters
Copyright 2020
All Rights Reserved
Chapters
Chapter 6
Bryan Wohand crawls into the back of military surplus jeep Tiffany Lane has painted pink. Wade Essy jumps into the front seat and grabs Tiffany to give her a wet kiss. As they kiss Tiffany pops the clutch and laughs.
Bryan opens the bag in the seat next to him. In the bag he finds burglary tools and some black smear on facial paint. “So we aren’t going to just be burglars but racist burglars.”
Tiffany says, “Camouflage.”
Bryan says, “You do know if we were to get pulled over, some of these tools in themselves could get us jail time.”
Wade shakes his head. “You worry too much.”
“So are you two professional burglars?”
Wade answers. “No. But if a John doesn’t pay us or someone we’ve loaned money to doesn’t pay what they owe us, we are going to collect.”
“There are collection services.”
Tiffany says, “Yeah sure. In our business they are called pimps and enforcers. We don’t like that shit. We don’t want our customers hurt. We just want what we are owed. Just like you don’t want to rob your wife. You just want your stuff.”
Bryan says, “You two live dangerously.”
Wades says, “We are all born and we all die. And I figure we are already dead and in hades.”
Tiffany says, “Don’t start with that. That kind of talk creeps me out.”
Bryan says, “So maybe we are already dead. Maybe we are about to relive our death scene.”
Wade laughs. “I hope not because when I die again I want to be wearing a thong and bunny ears and drinking a martini.”
Tiffany changes gears and hits the gas. She speeds out of Hearthville Lake View Trailer Park. She stops at a stop sign. There are four cars waiting to take their turns at the intersection. Steed Ramsey jogs up to the jeep to say to hi to Wade and Tiffany.
Steed asks, “Wade, what was it that you wanted to tell me back whenever?”
“I had forgotten all about it. Now that I am living at the trailer park we will visit. We will talk. Right now we are going to burglarize Bryan’s wife because she would not give him his stuff when she kicked him out.”
Steed laughs. “Well, don’t make the six o’clock news.”
Bryan says, “That is one of my fears. Along with doing jail time.”
“You are Bryan Wohand? Right?”
“Right. And you date that Judy girl. Sorry. I can’t remember your name.”
“Steed Ramsey.”
“Ramsey? Are you kin to…”
“Probably not. I am a stranger in town.”
Bryan nods. “Well. It was nice meeting you.”
Steed says, “Yeah. I would shake your hand but social distancing.”
Tiffany puts the jeep into park and walks around to Steed. She gives him a wet kiss on the mouth. “This is what I think of social distancing. So come with us to help us recover Bryan’s things from his home where his wife locked him out.”
“I would but I’ve got to get to the garage in case we get any business.”
“Well. Okay.” Tiffany walks, in a very sexy fashion, back to get into the jeep. She drives off, leaving Steed standing on the side of the road with a visible erection in his jogging shorts.
Wade turns the radio on and starts singing the wrong words to a song. “You left Steed with an erection, no sense of direction, his father is a gangster, and you are a prankster. Just say prankster. Judy is no gangster”
Tiffany says, “Why does he date that Judy girl and not even tell her who he is? That is so stupid.”
Bryan asks, “So who is he?”
Tiffany says, “His father is Arthur Ramsey.”
“The gangster like in Wade’s song.”
“The very rich gangster. Yeah.”
Wade says, “And his mom is in a mental institution. So it is not really stupid that he does not want Judy to know who he is.”
Tiffany takes a deep breath. “I guess. But please don’t ever keep secrets from me.”
“Never, baby. I will tell you everything.”
Bryan says, “I am not sure what happened to cause my marital problems. Maybe it goes back to I am a Democrat and she is a Republican?”
Wade screams, “You are damned Democrat. Oh my fucking God. You support segregation and black separatism.”
“No. Of course not.”
“Well, you fucking crazy Democrats almost got that demon black separatist elected Governor of Georgia.”
“She is not a black separatist.”
“The hell she isn’t.”
Tiffany says, “I don’t know how the Democrats went from the party of the Kennedy’s and Martin Luther King to the crazy shit they have now.”
“Like you Republicans are any better.” Bryan goes into a weird cartoon like voice. “Oh, they are giving the unemployed too much money. They will never want to work again.”
Wade agreed. “I know. It is like Fox doesn’t even understand how unemployment works in most states where you have to apply for jobs.”
Tiffany says, “I think the three of us should become anarchists. That is what I think.”
Wade laughs and attempts to do Bryan’s cartoon voice. “You got my vote baby.”
Bryan taps Tiffany on the shoulder. “Next intersection, turn right onto Greenwood Lane. My house is the third down. I live at 103 Greenwood Lane.”
Tiffany stops. She turns. She giggles. “I am getting nervous. I am feeling butterflies. Either that or I am about to have an orgasm.” She pulls up in front of the house at 103 Greenwood Lane. “That is a nice house.”
Bryan points. “See that ugly bitch there, watering her flowers. She is the one who was in bed with my wife.”
Wade says, “God. She is ugly. Is she even human?”
Bryan says, “I hate that bitch so much. I think she must be blackmailing my wife with something.”
Tiffany asks, “What does your wife do for a living?”
“She runs a maid surface. She does pretty good. Some of her jobs are homes. But she has a contract with the Bluesuede Inn and she may be able to get a contract with a local hospital. She has been working to get that contract.”
Wade asks, “So if she is being blackmailed, it is probably not job related.What do you think she might be blackmailed about?”
“I don’t know. I wish I did.”
Tiffany says, “Well, it is probably not lesbian sex related because that cat is out of the bag.”
“My wife’s red car is parked there in the driveway. She must be home. We can’t do this. Not with her home.”
Wade says, “I am going to go knock on the door.”
“No. Please don’t.”
Wade jumps out of the jeep. He walks up to the door. He knocks. In less than a minute Trish Wohand answers the door.
Wade says, “Your husband wants his computer equipment.”
Trish says, “No. He can’t have his things. Any of his things!”
“Why are you being so mean to him?”
“It is none of your business.”
“Do you want him to hate you because you think that is the best way to protect him?”
Trish stares at Wade. “Do you remember me?”
Wade thinks a moment. “Sure, you and I sat in the back of math class together in the ninth grade. Your hair is a different color. You are not as skinny as you were back then. But yeah. Trish Black. Your goal in life was to have sex with all of the cheerleaders.”
Trish laughs. “But I only scored with two of them.”
“So your neighbor over there is blackmailing you about what?”
“She is not blackmailing me.”
“I think she is. What else, besides sucking her pussy, is she trying to make you do?”
“Wade, just leave.”
“Not until I get Bryan’s computer equipment for him.”
“Fine. It is in the basement.” Trish sees Bryan looking at her from the jeep. “Just pull the jeep around to the back and use the basement door to get his stuff.”
“What are you trying to protect Bryan from?”
“I am not going to tell you. Just go get the equipment and get the hell out of here.”
“You know back in high school, I liked you. I had a major crush on you.”
“Bullshit. You liked that Rochelle girl.”
“Like in high school you can’t have a crush on more than one girl. Hell, you had a crush on the entire cheerleader squad.”
“I did not have a crush on them. I wanted to seduce them because I hated them.”
“Woman. That is messed up.”
“I know. I am a messed up human being and you need to keep Bryan away from me. He is a good man.”
“Tell us what is going on. Maybe we can help you.”
“No one can help me. Just get the stuff and get the hell out of here. Get Bryan out of here.”
***
Leslie McApple walked to the jeep. “Bryan, I am so sorry. I did not mean to break up your marriage.”
Bryan asks, “What are you blackmailing my wife about?”
“I am not blackmailing her. She seduced me. I know I am ugly. I know it does not make sense.” Leslie looks at her watch. “Oh fuck. I am going to be running late. Arthur Ramsey has put me on the board of ‘Loving Care For All’ and this is going to be my first meeting. I am going to make such an awful impression. Running late!”
Tiffany screams to Wade. “I’ve got to get this lady to her board meeting.”
Wade runs and jumps into the jeep. Leslie crawls into the backseat with Bryan. Tiffany speeds off.
Tiffany asks, “So … I am sorry, what is your name.”
“Leslie McApple.”
“So do you know Arthur Ramsey well?”
“Heavens no. I belong to an animal right’s group that wants to either reform or shut down an experimental lab owned by ‘Loving Care.’ Selby James who chairs our group worked out a deal with Arthur Ramsey to put me on the board if our group, ‘Beast of Burden’ would agree to stop staging protest. I’ve never met Arthur Ramsey.”
Wade asks, “So why did Selby James want you on the board and not try to put himself on the board?”
Leslie says, “I already work for ‘Loving Care.’ I am over the custodial department of the Hearthville Hospital.”
Bryan says, “I did not know that. So my wife wants you to give her a contract. That is what the sex was about.”
“No. She never asked me for special treatment. And I would never give her special treatment. As a matter of fact I may recuse myself of making the final decision on that contract.”
Tiffany laughs. “Yeah. Sure.”
Leslie asks, “What does that mean?”
Wade says, “It means you wouldn’t be trying to cover your ass if behind the scenes you were not trying to help her get the contract. But hey, that is okay. We are not your enemy. We aren’t going to tell anyone that you and Trish have been having sex.”
Bryan says, “But I don’t understand why Trish would want to push me away. Yeah. I was upset. I was jealous. I was confused. But she made me out to be the bad guy.”
Wade says, “Well. She has agreed to let you have your computer equipment, so she and I did get that settled.”
Bryan questions. “How did you get that settled?”
“We go back. I knew her in high school.”
“I am still married to her and I could not get it settled.”
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