Excerpt:
“Can you analyze the pills?”
“No. Both of these medicines use some patented chemical formulas which I have but, like I said, part of the medicines utilize trade secrets. The drug trials do show the biological changes they cause in the body which helps the body to fight the infections. So I am trying to go down a list of which chemicals do what and then I am trying to insert each chemical to expand the formula that potentially would exact the right biological changes.”
Stewart, in a fashion, repeated, “Can’t you do a chemical analysis of the pills to discover what is in them?”
“I am sorry. I am getting kind of frantic here. I don’t have a sample of the pills. But even if I did I am not sure if either an XRF or OES analysis would tell me what I need to know. They had to have had some way to mask the exact chemical composition or they would not have bothered trying to hide their chemical formula with trade secrets. Using the methods for analysis would be like trying to figure out the secret formula for Coca Cola.”
Hearthville Serial: Book 7
Episode 28a
Any Truth, Proper Grammar, or Correct Spelling is totally coincidental if not accidental.
All characters are fiction. This story is fiction. This story makes no claims about any real person.
By Charles Peters
Copyright 2022
All Rights Reserved
Tiffany Lane drifted in and out from feeling pain to feeling nothing. The room was spinning around. She thought, “I’d like to see Wade before I die.” She felt certain that she was at death’s door. And she thought about her granny and the nailed up door in her Granny’s kitchen. Her brother had told her it was an Egyptian door where the ghosts of the dead could come into the house. She didn’t much believe in ghosts. She did not believe in God. She figured death was the end, just a period at the end of her sentence. She smiled at that thought. She guessed her life was more than just a sentence. She did not regret the life she had lived.
Doc Hawkins and Leroy Bare walked into the room where they were trying to take care of Tiffany Lane. They had not heard when Ellen Duddley had driven up or the sound of the slamming car door when Wade Essy had exited the car. Wade pounded on the door to Leroy’s home with his fist.
Wade screamed, “Leroy, answer the door.”
Ellen walked up and turned the door knob. The door opened. She smiled and patted Wade on the back. Ellen and Wade entered the house.
Leroy heard them and called to them. “We are in here.”
Wade and Ellen entered the room where Tiffany lay in the bed. Wade saw her and ran to her. He knelt down next to the bed. She looked worse than he could have imagined.
Ellen asked, “What can we do?”
Leroy said, “I have two of the medicines but I am having trouble making the other two. I wish Victor was here. He probably would have no problem in figuring out what I need to add to the recipe to make the pills.”
Wade said, “Victor once told me that Stewart could do chemical equations in his sleep.”
Leroy said, “Maybe he can help me.”
Ellen asked, “Can’t you just call the pharmacy?”
Doc Hawkins said, “I was about to be arrested for writing those kind of prescriptions when Leroy helped me escape.”
Ellen called her son Stewart. “Hey, Stewart, where are you at?”
Stewart said, “I am at the library.”
Ellen said, “Leroy needs your help in figuring out how to make some meds that can cure covid.”
Stewart said, “Mom, I don’t have that ability. If I did I would be as rich as Victor.”
Leroy politely took the phone. “I have the lab. I know the pills we need. I just can not figure out the exact chemical compound mix I need to make a generic version of the pills based on the information that I have. Part of the formula isn’t patented but based on trade secrets.”
“Can you analyze the pills?”
“No. Both of these medicines use some patented chemical formulas which I have but, like I said, part of the medicines utilize trade secrets. The drug trials do show the biological changes they cause in the body which helps the body to fight the infections. So I am trying to go down a list of which chemicals do what and then I am trying to insert each chemical to expand the formula that potentially would exact the right biological changes.”
Stewart, in a fashion, repeated, “Can’t you do a chemical analysis of the pills to discover what is in them?”
“I am sorry. I am getting kind of frantic here. I don’t have a sample of the pills. But even if I did I am not sure if either an XRF or OES analysis would tell me what I need to know. They had to have had some way to mask the exact chemical composition or they would not have bothered trying to hide their chemical formula with trade secrets. Using the methods for analysis would be like trying to figure out the secret formula for Coca Cola.”
“Look, Victor could help you but I am just a jock.”
“If I can not get these medicines made, Tiffany Lane is going to die. Wade said Victor told him that you can do chemical equations in your sleep.”
“Roger Ogleby is who you need. He is the one that got me interested in chemistry during a period when I thought I could be just as smart as Victor. And it pleased me that I could impress Victor. But honestly. I can’t compete with Roger or Victor when it comes to intellect.”
“We don’t have much time. Please. Just come over to my house and do what you can do. Even if all you can do is be my sounding board, that will help.”
“Okay. And I will see if I can get Roger on the phone to help.”
“Thanks. That will be great.”
They disconnect.
Doc Hawkins said, “You probably should have told him that trying to cure covid is illegal and we could all go to jail.”
Ellen smiled. “No. It was wise not to tell him that. Anyway. What can I do to help.”
Leroy said, “Well. I think we need to move Tiffany down to my lab in the cave. Doc Hawkins made a good point. It is probably only a matter of time before the police show up at my door. There is a wheelchair in that closet from when I hurt my leg back whenever. We can use it.”
Ellen opened the closet and looked at all the leisure suits in the closet. “My. Aren’t you a regular Leisure Suit Larry?”
Wade looked at the suits. “What do you do for fun, travel back in time to the 1980’s.”
“The suits belonged to my father. I know I should have tossed them out but there they are.”
Ellen smiled. “I understand. I still have my great-grandmother’s wedding dress and it is the most ugly thing you could ever imagine but it was hers and when I look at it, I can imagine her kind, smiling face and the brandy she would always offer me.”
Wade laughed. “Baby, my kind of granny.”
Tiffany laughed. “When I imagine my wedding I always imagine the most horrible dresses for my bride’s maids so I will look beautiful next to them.”
Ellen pulled the wheelchair out of the closet and unfolded it. She rolled it next to the bed. “My dear, you are beautiful.”
Tiffany crawled out of bed and got in the wheelchair. “When I was little, my sister and I used to fight over who would get to play with my mom’s wheelchair.”
Wade asked, “Your mom was crippled?”
“No. My dad bought it for her because it made begging for money easier. He would wear a patch over his eye. And he had a crutch painted red, white, and blue. Honestly they were not quite as awful as I make them sound. But anyway, playing with the wheelchair was fun and here I am.”
Wade smiled. He took control of the wheelchair. “So how do we get to the cave?”
Leroy pushed a button and the bed flew up toward the ceiling. The floor opened up beneath the bed to reveal a ramp down into the cave.
Ellen said, “My goodness Leroy. Who are you? Batman.”
Tiffany sang, “Dudadudaduda Batman.”
Leroy walked onto the ramp. Wade pushed the wheelchair to follow Leroy. Ellen and Doc Hawkins followed.
Tiffany said, “Shouldn’t you all be afraid that you are going to catch what I have. Trust me. This shit is no fun.”
Leroy said, “I have had covid.”
Wade said, “So have I.”
Ellen said, “I haven’t but we are going to cure you and if I catch it, we will cure me. I have faith.” Ellen changed the subject and asked, “So dear, which actor was your favorite batman.”
“Michael Keaton or as my mom liked to call him, Michael John Douglas. These days she is addicted to wikipedia. I wonder if they have a seven step program for that.”
Wade winked at Ellen. “My favorite batmen are George Clooney and Ben Affleck.”
“Oh my God. Every time you say that you just embarrass yourself. So Ellen, who is your favorite batman?”
“Other than Victor in home movies, I would say Adam West.”
Leroy laughed. “God, I love you. I so totally agree. That series was so much better than the movies. I wouldn’t be shocked if that series is not what turned me totally gay.”
Wade said, “You can’t be turned gay, no matter how many dicks you suck or how many times you take it up the ass. You are either born with a fashion sense or you aren’t.”
Ellen smiled. “As Victor tells his father and me, I feel certain that you will not be invited to march in any gay parades.”
Leroy asked, “So are you two homophobes?” Leroy fell back to walk next to Wade and Tiffany.
Ellen shook her head. “No. I just hate the organizations that pretend to be helping gay people. They want gay people to be hated so that they can keep raising money at the expense of young men and women who mostly just want to be left alone to live their lives the best they can.”
Tiffany took Leroy’s hand. “Do you agree?”
Leroy eased to take control of the wheelchair from Wade. Wade walked next to Leroy.
“Sometimes. Yeah. I mean, I understand the point of out and proud. And sometimes I guess I do define myself as gay. But mostly I define myself as a mad scientist.” Leroy spun around with Tiffany in the wheelchair as Wade jumped out of the way. “Welcome to my lab.”
A door came open that contained a bed and bedroom furniture.
Tiffany looked at the room as Leroy wheeled her inside. “I guess this is the room where I will die.”
Leroy said, “Okay Doc. Ellen. Wade. You take care of Tiffany the best you can while I try to duplicate the cure that might save her.”