Excerpt:
Victor Duddley sat down at the controls of Madison Grant’s spaceship. She screamed, “What in the hell do you think you are doing?”
“I am flying us to the second Iapetus Realm in the outlands. I know it is illegal for you to fly there so I am flying us there.”
Donny Maxtone looked at Victor and then looked at Madison.
Madison said, “I have the permission of Alice Malokey to fly you there.”
“Yeah. Well. I am flying us there. Sit back. Spread your legs. And enjoy the flight.”
“Spread my legs!! You are a crude son of a bitch.”
Hearthville Serial: Book 7
Episode 15
Any Truth, Proper Grammar, or Correct Spelling is totally coincidental if not accidental.
All characters are fiction. This story is fiction. This story makes no claims about any real person.
By Charles Peters
Copyright 2021
All Rights Reserved
Victor Duddley sat down at the controls of Madison Grant’s spaceship. She screamed, “What in the hell do you think you are doing?”
“I am flying us to the second Iapetus Realm in the outlands. I know it is illegal for you to fly there so I am flying us there.”
Donny Maxtone looked at Victor and then looked at Madison.
Madison said, “I have the permission of Alice Malokey to fly you there.”
“Yeah. Well. I am flying us there. Sit back. Spread your legs. And enjoy the flight.”
“Spread my legs!! You are a crude son of a bitch.”
“But I turn you on. Don’t I?”
“Not in a million years. Besides,” Madison’s voice turns into a mocking tone, “I know you are in love with Jossette. Your jerk off fantasy is for her Aunt Rachel to murder you in the boot of that junk car again.”
“That fucking psycho shit may work on my lower self. It has no impact on me. I am not going to suddenly turn into George or the lower Victor. So where were you planning on really flying us? Malokey maybe.”
“No?” There was an unintended question mark at the end of her answer.
“Oh. I think maybe you were. I bet you volunteered so you can go there and have a good fuck with Alice’s brother.”
“You don’t know shit. You just think you do.”
“Well. I know not to trust your pretty, all so pretty, ass.”
Donny grinned. “So I think you two are going to fall in love and get married.”
Victor laughed. “Not in a zillion years. I don’t have the required Napoleon Complex. Isn’t that right Josephine?”
Madison’s mouth fell open. She trembled. The image of her being thrown into the cage with Napoleon flashed in her mind. She wondered, “How does he know? Does the spell to hide my identity not work on him. How should I respond.” Then she screamed, “You are insane. It is my father who so loves Napoleon.”
Victor laughed. “Your secret is safe.”
“There is no secret. You are crazy. Or you are just making up shit to cause me problems.”
Victor nodded. “You know, I could free Napoleon from his cage but I will not. I will leave that to the Righteous Dude.”
Madison wondered, “Does he know where Sabian Blackrock has the cage hidden?” Then she thought, “I must not question him.”
Preacher Pat sat down in a chair. He held his head. “I feel so fucking bad. And I am so confused. You all are talking such weird shit. I want to wake up. I want to give my sermon.”
Donny began to give Preacher Pat a back rub. “It is going to be okay but you need to understand that you are dead. And in a spaceship. And on your way to the Second Iapetus where you will be protected.”
“If I am dead, where are the angels. Where are the gates to heaven? Where is St. Peter?”
Victor said, “A lot of what you preached was wrong.”
Preacher Pat stared at Victor. “Bullshit.” Then he thought a moment. “It is because I was a sinner. I was in love with Jack Minx. Now you are flying me to hell. But why does Satan look like Victor?”
Victor laughed. “Me. Satan. That is hilarious. I am not Satan.”
Madison stared at Preacher Pat. “Why is this human important to you and to Alice? He is such an idiot. And a hypocrite.”
“He was there when my brother was crucified. He comforted Amelia when she needed it. There was a moment I think if Amelia had not stopped him that he would have tried to save my brother.”
“Are you saying that you are the brother to Jesus Christ. Are you saying that Amelia is/was incarnated as Mary?”
“See. I’ve let you know one of my secrets. Are you less afraid of me?”
“I don’t know. I think I may be more afraid of you. I haven’t forgotten that you sent Belial to hell. I haven’t forgotten how powerful you can be. But now that I know that you are a spawn of the creator herself, I think that scares me most of all.”
Donny Maxtone asked, “Did the Witches Council sanction the murder of Preacher Pat?”
“Alice did not. But there are factions. Even though Sabian Blackrock is now a prisoner on Malokey he has contacts. He still gives orders. When he is freed he will still sit on the Witches Council. But the Witches Council did not sanction the harming of Preacher Pat.”
Preacher Pat pushed Donny Maxtone’s hands away from giving him a massage. He stood up. He looked at the large overhead monitor. It had grids on it and looked something like a map with an overlay of the space surrounding the large flying saucer. “So where are we now?”
Madison said, “We are just about to enter the outlands. Of course, with all of Victor’s powers I don’t see why he doesn’t just snap his fingers and then we’d be in the Second Iapetus realm.”
Victor grinned. “That would break the rules. And you know how I am a stickler for rules.”
“Yeah. Right.”
Preacher Pat asked, “Why would that be against the rules?”
Madison said, “It is kind of like the rule that a witch should not use a weapon or spell against another witch which that witch doesn’t have a way to counter. All fights must be fair and honorable to try to avoid bad Karma.”
Donny said, “But of course the bio terror attack on your church and the murder of you and the attempted murders of others was just totally fair and honorable.”
Madison said, “Of course it was not. That points to the attack being orchestated by some human group. Most of the human groups have totally forgotten what the term honorable even means. They elect politicians who are evil liars and who don’t have any ethical issue with bio terror and mass murder.”
Preacher Pat said, “Not all of us humans have lost our way.”
Madison said, “But even you think rules are made to be broken. Don’t you?”
Preacher Pat guessed he was a sinner and a hypocrite. He looked as though he wanted to cry.
Donny Maxtone put his arm around Preacher Pat’s shoulder. He said, “Now let us all quote the Witches Council in unison.”
And except for Preacher Pat, they did. “Without rules there would be anarchy.”
Madison smiled. “There are some days I long for anarchy.”
Victor said, “Well, the outlands pretty much are the realms of anarchy and constant wars. Houses fighting houses. Realms fighting realms.”
Preacher Pat scratched his head. “And you are bringing me to the outlands to protect me? Really? Seriously?”
Madison patted Preacher Pat on the back as she and Donny Maxtone stared into one another’s eyes. She laughed. “The Second Realm of Iaptetus is safe. Iapetus will protect you.” And she added, “From all the rules.”
Victor added, “And from being caged.”
Preacher Pat asked, “Why would someone want to put me in a cage? I don’t understand.”
Victor said, “There is no true death. You can not be killed on this side. But you can be caged. And some of those cages might put you into a sleep. It is a way to inactivate you. The sleep is the closest thing to the true death that there is. But the sleep is not without hope. We can still be woken or wake ourselves up.”
Donny Maxtone said, “Well, don’t forget, there is the planet of fire and brimstone where they try to remold our soul. They call it repairing us. Going there is pretty close to death.”
Victor said, “The sleep is painless. The fire and brimstone hurts like hell. And yeah they say it is to repair a soul, but the original is still there. The process does not really work.”
Preacher Pat asked, “So you have been there?”
“Oh yeah. I was never Amelia’s favorite son. I was something of a handful. And I guess it did mellow me some but I am still me.”
Madison stared at Victor. “Amelia sent you there and you still love her?”
“Of course I love Amelia. I am part of her and she is part of me. And it is not like I did not deserve to be sent there. Don’t you ever know that you have done wrong and hate yourself for it?”
Madison lied, “No.”
Preacher Pat asked, “Victor, what did you do that would cause you to be sent to the planet of fire and brimstone by this whatever you call Amelia?”
“I am not going to share all of my secrets.”
Preacher Pat asked, “Where is Amelia now?”
“She is in a sleep. Her husband’s family is watching over her. They don’t know who she is. They don’t know that she is the creator; God. I think there was a time that Sam knew but that memory has been taken from him.”
Preacher Pat scratched his head. “The person you think is God is in the sleep? How is that possible?”
Madison said, “It might not be possible. She may be playing a game.”
Victor said, “If she is playing a game, understand, she designed the playing court, the playing board, and in the end there can only be one winner.”
Madison nodded. She watched the monitor as her spaceship entered the outlands and she understood she could be caged for entering the outlands.