Billy Bingo: The Forgotten Past
Chapter Two
[To Chapter List that will be updated as new Chapters are added]
Billy’s mother Maureen Bingo is sitting at the table with a coworker from the Finance Firm where she works. His name is Raymond Bing. Wearing just boxers Billy comes into the kitchen and gets himself a beer for breakfast and sits down at the table with them. He can’t help but stare at Raymond.
“Say. You know you favor Matthew Perry from the series Friends.” Billy takes a drink of his beer. “I used to have gay fantasies about Matthew Perry.”
Maureen sits horrified. “Billy! Don’t say such things to people you’ve just met.”
Billy reaches out his hand. “Actually, we haven’t met. I am Billy Bingo.” Billy shakes Raymond’s hand who with a puzzled expression introduces himself as Raymond Bing. Billy says, “Bing & Bingo, funny how our names are similar. Also the character in Friends was Chandler Bing. Weird.” Billy feels intrigued by Raymond.
“I guess,” Raymond says in a very Chandler Bing way. Raymond’s mannerisms tickles Billy. Billy has an urge to tickle Raymond in the stomach but doesn’t.
“So you work with my mother. You two aren’t having an office romance or anything are you.”
“No!” Raymond squirms at the very suggestion. Then he cocks his head at Billy as though he wants to ask Billy something but slanting his eyes up and toward Maureen he doesn’t. Billy notices the unstated question but doesn’t try to guess what is on Raymond’s mind.
“Do you hate your work as much as mom does? God, she hates that place.”
“Billy! Can’t you see that you are making us uncomfortable.”
Billy just can’t help himself. “So Raymond, have you ever had two women wrestle to see which one will get to ride your cock.”
“Billy!”
“That happened to me last night. It was so cool. I started to lie and say now that was uncomfortable but it wasn’t. It was cool.”
“I thought you said you were gay.” Raymond has a bead of sweat on his forehead.
“No. I said I used to have gay fantasies about Matthew Perry. That doesn’t mean I don’t like pussy or women fighting over me.” Billy laughs. He looks over the papers at the table. “So what are you and mom working on.”
Raymond shakes his head. “Damn if either one of us can figure it out. I think they are setting us up to fire us.”
Billy looks at the worried look on his mom’s face. “I am sorry. I didn’t realize.”
Maureen stares at her son. “You were really with two women last night.”
“Beth Jackson and Lilly Coint.”
Raymond screams, “Lilly is my sister! You were with my sister!”
“What? No. Your last name is Bing.”
“Half-sister. She has a different father from me.”
“Oh.”
Maureen shakes her head at Billy. “Raymond, I haven’t seen you around here before. Lilly is your sister?”
“Lilly doesn’t speak to me. Her father convinced her that I am evil incarnate. I didn’t even know Lilly lives here. God! Still! She is my sister and Billy is bragging about having a three-way with her.”
“She might be a different Lilly Coint.” Billy has a devilish grin as he stares at Raymond.
Raymond does a Matthew Perry double take look at Billy. Billy is amazed at the resemblance. Billy takes a gulp of his beer. “Looking at you is making me so horny.”
Raymond pounds the table. “Maureen. You know how much I like you. But I think I am going to murder your son.” Raymond jumps up as does Billy in quick reaction.
Billy runs out the door with Raymond chasing him. Then outside near the parking lot Billy turns and screams at Raymond, “Boo!” Raymond jumps as Billy lunges and tackles him to the ground. Billy puts Raymond in a head lock. “Lilly is a good person. You should get to know her.”
Billy takes hold of Raymond by the ear lobe. Raymond screams, “Oh, oh, oh,” as Billy drags him by the ear over to LIlly’s Apartment. Billy pounds on the door and Lilly answers it. With Billy, just in his boxers, and still holding Raymond by his ear, looking pitiful Raymond tells Lilly, “Hi. I am your brother.”
Billy gives Raymond a friendly kick in the behind with the back of his bare foot as he releases his hold on Raymond’s ear. “You get to know your sister and make plans to be the loving family that you both need. I am going back home.” Billy points and laughs. “Now young man I’ve got my eye on you. You do right by your sister.” Billy moans, “God, I really should sober up.”
Lilly screams at Billy as Billy walks away. “Thank you.” Then she looks at her brother. “How on earth do you know Billy? So weird. At some point last night I was wishing…”
“Wishing what?”
“That I could find you. That I would get to know you. Now here you are. It is like Billy has granted me my wish.”
Raymond shuffles his feet looking as though he is kicking an imaginary can and smiles as he looks at his sister. “I work with Billy’s mother. It is just coincidence that we found each other.” Raymond pauses. “A very good coincidence.”
“I am late for work. I don’t want to leave.”
“I’ve got to figure some work stuff out with Maureen so I know what you mean. Can I come back here tonight?”
“Of course. That will be great.”
Raymond walks back over to the Bingo Apartment and lets himself in. Billy and Maureen are sitting at the table. Billy tells Raymond, “Man, they’ve got you so screwed. I’ve been looking over these papers and there is no way you can win. Either way you push this deal it is going to make you look bad and if you don’t push the deal they are going to fire you for non-compliance. That fucking bitch O’Hara wants your sissy ass the hell out of her office.”
“Sissy.” Raymond stares at Maureen. “Is that the way you think of me?”
Billy screams. “Fuck. Man. That Religious Outfit that took over the company wants my mom’s butch ass the hell out of there as well.”
“Billy! You are just jumping to conclusions because of the way you think they perceive us.”
“I tell you what. You know how that O’Hara and Preacher Birchell make-out with their smoochy face at the front door to the Cubicle Hell?”
“Yeah.”
“How much do you want to bet that if I go to the office with Raymond here and do the same kissy face routine with Raymond that O’Hara or Preacher Birchell will make a scene.”
Maureen rolls her eyes. “That is silly. You just want to make out with Raymond.”
Billy winks at Raymond. “Is there anything wrong with that?” Billy knows how hard his mother and father have worked and just to barely get by. “I promise you that we will be okay.” Billy smiles at his mother. “Throw the contract in the garbage. Just quit the job.” Billy looks at Raymond and sees tears swelling up on in his eyes. He pats Raymond on the back and an image flashes in his mind of Raymond hanging himself. “Fuck man. You can’t hang yourself. That is just stupid.”
“What? No.” Raymond wonders how Billy knew what he was thinking.
Billy goes to his room and gets dressed. When he returns his mother and Raymond are gone. The table is now clear of the papers. Billy goes outside and sees that his mother has taken the car. Raymond’s car is sitting there but Billy doesn’t have the keys to it. Billy’s car is in the garage being worked on by his father. Billy goes to see if Joan or Judy can give him a ride to his mother’s office. Billy isn’t sure what he can do but he feels he must try to do something.
Joan gives Billy a ride to the large office building where Billy’s mother works. On the ride there Billy explains to Joan what is going on. They get in the elevator and go up to the floor that his mother calls Cubicle Hell. “She hates this job but until she finds something better she needs it.”
“I know how that is,” Joan says as she and Billy walk from the elevator. Joan looks at Ms. Cory sitting in one of the cubicles. “Oh my God! Ms. Cory, why haven’t I seen you at the square dance lately.”
Ms. Cory looks at Joan in total mortification. “Shh. Please,” Ms. Cory whispers. “The Harrigan sisters sold this business to Preacher Birchell. They are out to get rid of Mrs. Bingo and Mr. Bing.” Ms. Cory stands up and eases out of her cubicle. “We are all walking on egg shells.”
“Why are they out to get rid of my mother?”
“She was overheard talking about you. She didn’t know what kind of monsters have taken over this place. Reverend Birchell wanted her to get you to go to some place to turn you straight.”
Joan laughs. “What! Billy likes pussy.”
Ms. Cory nudges Joan and with a giggle whispers, “Don’t we all. But anyway Maureen was talking to us girls about Billy’s working with Steve Webster.”
Billy ask, “What about Raymond Bing? Why do they want to get rid of him?”
“You’ve met him?”
Billy nods. “Yeah.”
“In his divorce his wife said she caught him having an affair with a man. The truth is though, Raymond is horrified at the thought that he might be gay. Raymond said that the man was actually his wife’s lover.”
“Raymond is kind of a sissy.”
“Yes. Of course.”
Joan punches Billy. “You know that doesn’t mean anything.”
Then Billy points to where Raymond is in his cubicle.
Joan shrugs. “Oh yeah. I’d say gay. See the way he is checking his cuticles pointed up to the light.” Joan punches Billy again. “Why did you make me say that? It means nothing.”
Billy laughs which attracts the attention of Maureen and Raymond. Maureen rushes to where Billy and Joan are standing. “Please don’t get Ms. Cory in trouble. She needs this job.”
“Oh my yes. I really do.” Ms. Cory eases back into her cubicle.
Mrs. Bingo pulls Billy toward Raymond’s cubicle. Joan follows. “What are you doing here?”
“I don’t know. I thought there might be something I can do to save your job.”
“Billy, what on earth do you think you can do?”
“I don’t know.”
Ms. O’Hara walks up. “Billy, what are you doing here. This is a place of work. Real work and not that silly, pansy, decorating stuff you do with Steve Webster.”
“Yeah, I can see the sweat pouring off you from all that work you’ve been doing.”
“Maureen, if your son does not leave this office I will call security and they will call the police.”
Billy sees Preacher Birchell. Billy runs to follow Preacher Birchell into his office. “I understand you are setting things up to force my mother and Mr. Bing into resigning.”
“Officially, I don’t know what you are talking about.” Preacher Birchell stares at Billy. “But let us talk.”
“I understand you told my mother you knew of a place that could turn me straight.”
“My lawyer explained to me that was wrong. I apologize.”
“Is that what was done to you?”
“No. No. Okay. Yeah.” Preacher Birchell looks down as if he has just been scolded.
“Some contracts were given to my mother and Mr. Bing. If they don’t present those contracts to their client they can be fired for non-compliance. If they do present those contracts to their client then the client can have them terminated. You have put my mother and Mr. Bing into a very bad situation.”
“I am not behind the contract. Ms. O’Hara and the board are behind it. I’ve told them what they are doing is stupid and will damage the company with our employees as well as our clients.”
“How would you advise my mother and Mr. Bing to proceed?”
“I can’t legally tell them as that would put me in non-compliance with the board. But you are a smart boy with smart friends. Once the right paper is put on my desk I can legally put the contract in the shredder. Make sure they understand I will give no opposition and they will know the paper best to deliver on my desk. I should then be able to move your mother and Mr. Bing up one floor to be away from Ms. O’Hara.”
“Why on earth do you smooch with Ms. O’Hara?”
“She is the closest thing I can get to being with a man without the board firing me.”
“Thanks for talking with me.”
“No. This conversation never happened.”
“I understand.”
Billy talks to Steve’s mother, Mrs. Webster, and she gets the information Billy needs from her lawyer. They help get the contract killed and Maureen Bingo and Raymond Bing get a promotion up one floor. Their last day on Ms. O’Hara’s floor Billy comes to help his mother move boxes. Billy manages to give Raymond one hell of a kiss.