The Picture

By Charles Peters

Where shall I begin with this tale of woe. I guess the small birthday party for Benjamin is as good of place as any. So you ask, who the hell is Benjamin?

Benjamin is an 18 year old young man who, with his sister Sarah, have been being raised in foster care. Their father sits in prison for killing a blackmailer. Did he do it? Didn’t he do it? That is a different story. Their mother, bless her soul, resides in Heaven. The Heaven Gate Brothel, owned by cult leader Reverend Owen Black. God, the things their mother can do with a cube of ice and whip cream. But enough about that.

For two years now, Benjamin and Sarah have been under the care of Mrs. Rockling and her 23 year old son Lucas. Mrs. Rockling is a fine woman. A widow woman. Probably could never join the Republican Party, but a fine woman just the same. When Mrs. Rockling has a neighbor lady Sophie sleep over, no one thinks much of it. She is a lonely widow woman. Why should anyone gossip about when loud mouth Sophie sleeps over at the Rockling home. And why shouldn’t the neighbor lady share Mrs. Rockling’s bed. There is not an empty bed in the house. Why should anyone think about it? It is no ones damned business.

Benjamin certainly doesn’t think anything about it. It doesn’t occur to him that Mrs. Rockling and Sophie might do anything other than sleep while in the bed together. Perhaps if he had thought about it, the tragic events of this day would not have happened.

The day didn’t start out tragic. It started with a small party. There was cake and balloons and Sarah trying to pin the tail on Benjamin. There was laughter. There was Lucas with his girlfriend Mary being all “lovely dovely.” Lucas had loved Mary since they first played doctor under the front porch across the street, but that love had not always translated into a blissful relationship. There was Mrs. Rockling talking baseball with Sophie and discussing exactly how badly the braves do suck this year. It was a party. And Benjamin loved it.

As the party began to wind down, Sarah told Benjamin. “Oh, I almost forgot. Someone left this envelope at the door last night with your name on it.” Then she added with a devilish grin. “Sorry,” she said but she didn’t exactly look sorry. “I couldn’t resist. I opened it.”

Benjamin’s heart leaped and he sat back in his chair. Frowning at his sister, nervously he took the envelope from his sister. He hoped his hand shaking wasn’t obvious as he looked at the envelope and removed the perfumed pink stationary from inside.

“Happy Birthday. I’ve got a present for you that you will not forget. Meet me tonight. You know where.”

Sarah teased her brother in a singing voice. “Ben ja min plan ning is slip ping out to night . Ben ja min got a girl friend.”

Benjamin smiled and laughed. Feeling less threatened now by the teasing of his loving sister, acting nonchalantly, he tossed the feminine smelling note aside. “Don’t worry. That isn’t going to happen.”

Mrs. Rockling and her son Lucas had been great to Benjamin and Sarah since their previous foster parents had kicked Benjamin out. It scared Benjamin to think that anything might cause Mrs. Rockling or Lucas to think so badly of him as the people who had removed him from their home. But the letter was harmless.

Mrs. Rockling pined in a half sad and half joking voice, “Soon you will be finding yourself a wife and moving out.”

I don’t guess at that point it had ever occurred to Mrs. Rockling that she and Benjamin shared a common secret or that there was some reason that Sophie had talked her girlfriend Rachel who worked for the state to help get Benjamin and his sister placed with Mrs. Rockling. Mrs. Rockling had never thought to take in foster children until Sophie convinced her. It didn’t really take much convincing. The first time Mrs. Rockling met Benjamin and she talked to him about art, she was like fuck, I totally want to get to know this young man better. She joked to Sophie that it would be so cool if she helped to raise someone who might end up famous.

On some level Lucas pretty much knew it all. He thought if Sophie made his mother happy, then cool. And Sophie’s plan to have foster children placed with his mother seemed a loving gesture. Even though he knew he was going to have to help his mother, he was fine with the idea.

Rachel, who worked for the state, and was key for the plan to be approved, had dated Lucas off and on. Dated. Let me put it more crudely. Lucas and Rachel were fuck buddies on occasion. They liked one another but they didn‘t love one another. They had great sex together; but it was just sex. There was no romantic hand holding over a candle lit dinner or some dreamy walk on a moonlit night. There were few sweet nothings whispered between them. That is what Lucas had with Mary. What Lucas had with Rachel were words that could make a sailor blush and some totally outrageous hardcore great sex.

If you are wondering about Mary. If you are feeling disappointed in Lucas. Don’t. Lucas loved Mary but during this period of their dysfunctional relationship, she had begun to date other people and so had he.

But back to what I was talking about. When Rachel thought about Lucas helping to raise Benjamin and Sarah she felt the need to find out how Lucas might feel about Benjamin. When she thought about it, she wasn’t sure whether Lucas was more Red Neck or Metro Sexual. After sex, she and Lucas both had pretty much always made some excuse to make a quick exit and they’d had very few real conversations. I think they both thought that if they got too close and discovered they didn’t really like one another, then it might spoil some really great fun in the bedroom.

Regardless, Rachel decided she needed to talk with Lucas after they’d had sex. She sure as hell didn’t want to do it before they had sex. It was sort of awkward when Rachel brought up the subject of gay men and Lucas was like wondering if Rachel thought he, Lucas, were gay. God knows that when comes to sex, Lucas realized that he tended to be more that just a little on the kinky side. So, Lucas was like, hey, you know, if the dude is hot and the chemistry is there, it is there. “Yeah, honey, you may have just had the best sex you will ever have with one hot gay man.” Rachel couldn’t believe Lucas’s attitude and died laughing. Okay, not really. There was no funeral, but Lucas did have her laughing.

Listening to his mother talking to Benjamin about getting married he thought back to that conversation he had with Rachel. Rachel had explained to Lucas that Benjamin seemed to have some attraction toward men. His other foster parents had called the state to get him when they discovered some gay porn magazines in his room. Lucas tickled Rachel and scolded her for thinking that he is a homophobe.

Now, Lucas looked at Benjamin and could see that between the note and his mother talking marriage, Benjamin was starting to look almost teary eyed. Lucas laughed, “Yeah, make your older brother look bad by getting married first. But that is okay, even if you were to steal Mary from me, you‘d still be my brother.”

Benjamin smiled. He liked the idea of Lucas thinking of him as a real brother. At the same time it was a smile to hide a sadness. Take a wife. Moving out.

Benjamin remembered his father’s words. “You must get over this silly stuff. You must be a man.”

Since Benjamin’s father had turned against him, Benjamin always feared homeless and living under a bridge was a more likely prospect for his future. And Benjamin considered the reason he had been removed from the previous foster home. He wanted to think he could trust Mrs. Rockling and Lucas with the truth about himself, but he thought it best be a truth kept a secret.

Lucas got up and hugged his brother as he and Mary prepared to leave the party. Handing Benjamin a fifty dollar bill, Lucas laughed, “This might come in handy if you change your mind and slip out tonight.”

Benjamin hugged his brother and grinned. He joked to Mary. “Now where were we going to meet.”

Mary laughed and grabbed hold of Benjamin. Hugging him she giggled. “Now, don’t you be disappointed if Lucas gets married before you.”

Benjamin chuckled and winked. “Oh, I won’t.”

Lucas and Mary then left the party arm in arm with Lucas mumbling, “Marriage.“ Lucas wasn’t really thinking marriage but he started to wonder if that is what Mary had on her mind. Lucas loved Mary.
He truly had loved Mary since the day they first played doctor. Seriously. I am not kidding here. But, they had just started getting their relationship back on track. Mary had been seeing other people. He had been seeing other people. For awhile Mary hadn’t seemed to care if Lucas slept around. But now things were changing.

Lucas and Mary sat on the front steps of the her porch across the street from where Lucas lived. Lucas and Mary kissed and Lucas mentioned maybe they could go somewhere more private and maybe get naked. Ever so coy and seductive, Mary kissed into Lucas’s ear, “Not until we are married.”

“Married.” There was that word again. That word, Lucas thought that was a hell of a note. “So are you proposing to me.”

“Hey, you proposition me for a roll in the hay and you going to get a different kind of proposal from me.”

Lucas teased Mary. “Well, if you haven’t bought me a ring yet, you really shouldn’t propose.” And then Lucas moved in close and holding her gently in his arms, he whispered tenderly with his lips to her ear, “I love you.”

Meanwhile Benjamin had gone up to his room and begun straightening it up. Pleased at Benjamin, Mrs. Rockling came in and offered to help. Mrs. Rockling knelt down to pick up a piece of crumpled paper. Standing back up, and tossing the paper into the garbage can, she told Benjamin she needed to go get a broom to sweep out from under the bed. As she left to get the broom, Benjamin picked the paper up out of the garbage can. It was a love note from Cleave who he worked with at the Sapphire Horse Farm. He then quickly knelt down, reached far up under the bed, and pulled three gay porn magazines from under the bed and tossed them into the can. He then pulled some more love notes from under his mattress and tossed them into the garbage can.

Benjamin was about to take the garbage can down to dump its contents into the bigger can outside when he glanced out the window and he noticed his neighbor Sophie looking through their garbage. “Why the hell is she doing that? Fuck. I can‘t just dump this stuff into the can outside.”

They routinely lit matches in the bathroom to counter odor and so Benjamin figured he could explain the fire in the wastebasket. It was just three magazines and a few letters. He thought surely he could burn them without drawing much notice. So Benjamin took the garbage can to the bathroom. He moved the magazines and the letters from the garbage can to the wastebasket. He then went to return the garbage can to his bedroom. Mrs. Rockling was back in his bedroom cleaning. He sat the garbage can down and told Mrs. Rockling, “I’m going to the bathroom.”

Benjamin rushed back to the bathroom and closed and locked the door. He sat the wastebasket in the shower stall. He decided the fire might be too big and so he removed two of the magazines without really looking inside the wastebasket. He opened the window that was inside the shower stall and then he closed the door to the stall. He dropped a match into the wastebasket and the love letters began to burn. He glanced into the basket and watched the magazine burning. There was more smoke than he wanted. He pulled a towel from the shower rack. He turned the shower on and dampened the towel. He then used the wet towel by putting it over the wastebasket to control the fire by reducing the oxygen. He decided that using cloth over the fire probably was not a really good idea and so he took the towel away from the wastebasket. As he dropped another magazine into the wastebasket, he noticed beneath the burning magazine a bottle of liquor.

“What the fuck?”

The 2nd magazine starting burning a lot quicker than the first. It had been treated with some kind of perfume. Benjamin was just about to use the shower to put the fire out so he could pull the bottle of liquor from the wastebasket when the bottle exploded and fire shot to the ceiling. The loud blast caused Benjamin to fall back, pushing against and opening the shower door. Falling out of the shower stall on to the floor, feeling dazed, Benjamin glanced at his bleeding hand. Benjamin shook his head and rolled his eyes in desperation as he scrambled to stand up. He reached to turn the shower on, hoping to put the fire out. For a moment he felt frozen as he watched the fire dance like a dangerous temptress across the ceiling before his disbelieving eyes. The dancing flames grew larger and the growing fire quickly began to engulf the bathroom. The fire spread fast and there was nothing Benjamin could do.

Mrs. Rockling screamed, “What the hell was that?”

Benjamin started screaming fire and he run to his 17 year old sister’s bedroom. Her door was locked and she wasn’t answering. Hearing the blast, Mrs. Rockling rushed to the door of Benjamin’s bedroom. She stared in horror as the fire began to spread down the hallway toward Benjamin. He looked back at the flames and Mrs. Rockling as he continued trying to get his sister to open the door. Benjamin screamed to Mrs. Rockling. “Climb through my window. Use my window. It is open. That is the best way for you to get out of the house.”

“What about you?”

“Save yourself. Please. Save yourself.”

Mrs. Rockling saw a framed picture of Lucas and Benjamin and Sarah on Benjamin’s bed stand. Grabbing the picture, she did as Benjamin said. She climbed out on to the roof of the wrap around porch. She saw Lucas sitting across the street on the front porch with Mary. She screamed to her horny son, “Our house is on fire. Please hurry. We’ve got to save Benjamin and Sarah.”

Leaving the picture on the roof outside Benjamin‘s window, Mrs. Rocking carefully run across the porch roof to Sarah’s window.

Benjamin continued screaming for Sarah to open her door. Finally Sarah opened her door and screamed in horror as she saw a wall of fire behind Benjamin. Benjamin darted into the room, closing the door, hoping to slow the fire from entering the room. Benjamin rushed to open Sarah’s window. Mrs. Rockling struggled to open it from the outside. The window would not open. Benjamin began looking for something to throw through the window when suddenly the ceiling collapsed, blocking any hope of exit through the window.

Mrs. Rockling screamed in terror at the sight of the falling ceiling. Through the smoke and leaping flames she saw Benjamin and Sarah retreat back toward Sarah’s closet. Mrs. Rockling screamed in tears to Lucas, “They are trapped in Sarah’s closet. I don’t know how to save them.”

Sarah cried, “We are going to die.”

Lucas stated in a loud, firm voice. “I’ll save them. Don’t you worry. I’ll save them.”

Benjamin feared the truth in Sarah‘s words but still he hopefully repeated after Lucas, “Lucas says he will save us.” Benjamin held his sister as they heard Mrs. Rockling frantically screaming to Lucas over and over again that they were in Sarah’s closet. Mary heard Mrs. Rockling and noticed an ax that Lucas had been using to chop down a small rotted tree a couple of days earlier. She ran and got the ax and rushed to throw it to Lucas on the roof.

Mary screamed, “You might need this.”

Another neighbor grabbed a hose pipe and wetted down a blanket. He quickly threw the wet blanket up to Lucas. Lucas hastily grabbed the ax and the wet blanket and with no thought to his own safety climbed through the open window in to Benjamin’s room. The room was burning but through the smoke and fire Lucas saw a pathway to Benjamin’s closet. Feeling the heat of the fire and choking on the smoke, Lucas wrapped himself in the blanket and used the ax with all the strength he could muster to break through Benjamin’s closet into Sarah’s closet.

Benjamin and Sarah heard the pounding of the ax on the wall behind them. Frantically they threw Sarah’s clothes and some other items out of the way as Lucas broke through the scorching wood to reach them. He took the blanket from himself and threw it over Sarah and picked Sarah up into his arms. Her lips touched his cheek in a thankful kiss. The smoke was thick and Benjamin couldn’t see. He held on to Sarah’s shirt sleeve as Lucas carried Sarah through the wall of the closet . In a seeming mountain of fire they walked toward the open window in Benjamin‘s room. Hearing the sirens and suddenly being able to see the flashing lights of the fire truck reflecting as beacons through the thick smoke rising upward through the window, they felt safety was near.

Lucas whispered, “We are almost there.”

Just at the window, Lucas felt the floor start to crumble beneath him. He threw Sarah through the window onto the porch roof and then gave Benjamin a push in the same direction. Lucas felt his foot become wedged in the collapsing floor. And then he stepped through a hole with his other foot. He fought to free his legs from the floor as he felt himself begin to sink. It was a sinking feeling.

Outside the window, on the roof of the porch, Sarah and Benjamin turned to see their brother as the floor gave way, trapping him. They watched the flames jump and dance. For a moment, a second, they hopefully reached back toward their brother. But then that one second of hope vanished into the fire. In horrific agony as though his pain were their pain, they watched Lucas become engulfed in flames. In hopeless anger at the unforgiving situation, helpless to do anything to save their savior, their brother, in woeful distress they closed their eyes. That moment they would always remember as the moment they’d given up and no matter how impossible the situation was, for that moment they’d always feel guilt for they knew that their brother had somehow saved them from just as an impossible moment.

A strong, tough, fireman came up on a ladder to get them off the roof. On the roof, he stopped in horror. He stared inside the window at the unrecognizable figure masked in flames. Then the fireman looked down and saw the face of Lucas in the photograph. Picking the picture up and then looking back to the dying young man, the fireman openly wept at the horrific sight.

Lucas heard the sirens and he looked at the fireman who stood in tears reaching toward him. But Lucas knew it was too late. In pain from the fire he struggled for his last breath. He died.

_________

After the fire, Robert Hendelson could not get the image of Lucas being consumed in fire out of his mind. This night as he went to bed he looked at the picture of Lucas, Benjamin, and Sarah. He knew he needed to return the picture to Mrs. Rockling but something stopped him. God, the devil, a psychotic obsession; but whatever the reason, he did not return the picture.

Robert had investigated the fire and had decided it was arson. Even though he had quit his job as fireman and had no legal standing, he’d made up his mind that he was going to make the person who set the fire pay. He felt driven to murder the person who’d set the fire.

He had not been in bed long when he decided he could not sleep. Taking the picture of Lucas, Benjamin, and Sarah from his nightstand and putting it into his jacket pocket he left his home and drove to the burned remains of the Rockling home.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Rockling had sent Benjamin to check on Mary and take her a chocolate cake that Mrs. Rockling had cooked. Mrs. Rockling was worried about Mary. Since her parents had moved to Florida she lived alone and now there was not Lucas to watch out for her.

The grandfather clock chimed midnight as Benjamin rung the doorbell at Mary’s place. Mary answered the door, took the cake and Benjamin stepped inside the home. About five minutes later, through the blinds, Robert could see Mary and Benjamin hugging. Then Benjamin left Mary’s home.

Robert had already decided Benjamin was the one who murdered Lucas. Now, he thought he knew the motive. He thought Benjamin in love with his brother’s girlfriend.

Benjamin left Mary’s and walked over to the burned remains of what had been his home. When Robert walked up to him, Benjamin recognized him as the fireman on the roof. Robert told Benjamin, “I see I am not the only one who can’t sleep tonight.”

Benjamin nodded. Benjamin said, “The moon is so bright, it hardly seems night.”

Robert pulled the picture from his jacket and gave it to Benjamin. Benjamin looked at the picture and told Robert that his mother had been wondering about the picture. Staring at the picture, Benjamin became overwhelmed with emotion.

Robert seemed a good man. There is no doubt watching Lucas burn to death impacted him in a bad way. And when he saw Benjamin cry he patted Benjamin on the back. He actually took Benjamin in his arms to comfort Benjamin. Then he and Benjamin started walking together. They talked. It was about nothing. It was about everything. And before Benjamin knew it, he realized he was standing on a dead end road in a little used public park. There was no one around.

Benjamin had not really paid much attention to Robert. But now Robert and Benjamin stared into each other’s eyes and Benjamin saw a look that made him feel uneasy. Benjamin saw a look in those eyes, those seemingly cold eyes, that made him feel a sense of danger. He told Robert he needed to be getting home and he started walking back out of the park. Robert caught up with him and grabbed hold of Benjamin’s arm.

Robert said, “I looked around those ruins. I am pretty sure the fire was arson. I am pretty sure you did it.”

Benjamin told Robert, “It was not arson.”

Robert said, “I can’t prove it. But it was arson. And you little bastard. You aren’t going to get by with the murder.”

“I didn’t kill anyone.”

“You killed him for that girl didn’t you. That is what it was about.” Robert pulled out a gun and pointed it at Benjamin’s head. “I’d never seen anyone burn alive before. You burned your foster brother alive.”

“No. You don’t understand. It was an accident.”

"Accident? You think I am crazy enough to believe that?"

In a confrontational voice Benjamin said, “You have to be crazy." Then feeling the revolver pressed against his temple, in a softer voice Benjamin said, "You don‘t want to kill me.”

“Crazy. I sure as hell didn’t burn anyone alive. And yes I do want to kill you.”

Suddenly, the picture flew up from Benjamin’s hands. It hit Robert in the face and Benjamin managed to jump just in time to grab the gun away from Robert. Benjamin actually considered killing Robert with the gun but he didn’t. He figured he would never see Robert again; that is if Robert knew what was good for him.

Benjamin picked the picture up from where it had bounced off Robert‘s face. He looked at Lucas in the picture. Benjamin realized how the picture flew from his hands as though on its own to hit Robert in the face. Benjamin realized that somehow, from the grave, Lucas had saved him again. He felt certain that Lucas was the one who had thrown the picture at Robert.

Benjamin went home feeling forgiven.